I was woken at 3.45am by the police knocking on my gate. A Police man and lady asked if Nancy Duke lived here, I said why what has she done wrong, The police lady asked what car she had, I replied a little white Renault 5. It’s been involved in an accident we don’t know if it’s your daughter or if the car may have been stolen. I said has she got very long dark brown hair? She replied we don’t know, I asked if she could radio through to find out and she said no. I then asked is she dead? She said no, but I asked again she raised her voice and said look at my face I said no. The Policeman then asked Dennis if he knew Oldchurch hospital, (which he did) in shock he said no I asked the policeman if he should be driving, he just shrugged his shoulders and left.
Nancy had brain stem damage, permanent state of vegetation. I sat watching my beautiful Nancy, she never spoke to me ever again. The Dr said she would die. I begged him on my knees to save my Nancy.
I combed her hair matted with dry blood. I had to use water and as I did the smell of blood and the stickiness covered my hands, huge clumps of her beautiful hair came out in my hands revealing the stitched gashes in her head.
I asked a nurse if she could feel pain, she said no, look, and pinched and twisted her eyelid. This enraged me, “I said never ever do that again”, I refused to let her look after Nancy.
After being with Nancy for 3 days, my world collapsed when Nancy’s heart stopped, she had gone. My beautiful daughter, my world had gone. My heart broken, I felt empty, all my love, warmth, my very being gone. My very soul had been ripped out, devastated. I felt that I had died. Nancy’s mum had died with her.
When I went to see Nancy at the funeral parlour I broke down completely as I looked at her, tears ran down the right side of Nancy’s cheek.
A year later in court the judge said that the driver was a man of good character and he was giving him the shortest possible sentence for killing 2 beautiful people, and he had 2 previous convictions. I felt what more can you do to me, there is nothing left, it was like vultures picking at my bones.
By the Grace of God some days my grief walks beside me, but most days I am so overwhelmed by great sadness, empty and lonely with a longing for all that I will never have with my beautiful precious child. It is a gaping wound that never heals that no one can see. I feel like I am someone else, I don’t recognise the face that looks out from the mirror. Nancy’s mum has died with her.
I will take my grief with me to my grave.