Pat Bentley
The death of a child (whatever age) in a road crash changes your life mercilessly.
I had to extract the fact of my son’s death from my husband who had to relay the message by phone to me at work in Brighton.
On my journey home to Portsmouth that day (15.03.2000) I hoped there was a mistake and my son was not dead.
Then the worst moment of my life identifying his body in the mortuary of the same hospital where his birth nearly 35 years earlier had given me the best moment of my life. Words cannot describe my feelings – I loved him so much.
Suddenly you experience many new feelings – numbness, pain in the gut, knife in the heart, followed by a lifetime of frustration. I lost the most weight in the shortest time of my life up to the funeral.
My husband came across RoadPeace on the internet and its members have given me strength to cope with the grief. Nevertheless, 18 months later I had to resort to counselling and anti-depressants for the first time in my life to give me strength to carry on. It is very difficult to find a purpose for living. The light of my life has gone out and the heart of our family has been ripped out.
I am so angry that the driver does not have to speak to me and answer my questions. I am so angry that banned drivers do not have to be tested for safe driving before being allowed back on the roads. 'I feel betrayed by all the authorities involved when a person is killed on the road'
How can we convince so far unaffected people to unite against irresponsible driving? Changing the habits of irresponsible drivers is my mission.
Yesterday is history (my memories, with a little help from my surviving 20 months younger son, sustain me)
Tomorrow is a mystery (my dreams for the future are shattered)
Today is a gift (live it to the full without hurting others – thankfully my son did)