Petra Kendal-Raynor

Leaving the house to go to college was a rushed blur. I asked my Dad for some small change for my lunch and then ran out of the front door. I returned home that afternoon expecting Dad to greet me and for us to chat about our day, but the house was empty. It was unusual, but I thought he must have been out visiting a friend or at the shops.

I went to my bedroom and in an attempt to wind down put on some headphones, dancing wildly round my room to Grace’s Not Over Yet, playing it over and over again.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, my best friend who I had known from the age of four was standing there, nobody could get in touch with me so she jumped on her bike to see if I was in.

“Something awful has happened,”she said through tears.

My Dad had been hit by a car as he was crossing the road walking to the shops. I went to the hospital where he was still talking, but I was in such shock, I didn’t know what to do and someone offered to take me home.“Are you fed up?”, he said, smiling and joking despite his excruciating pain. And that was the last time I spoke to him. He went into surgery and never woke up.

As an only child, my Dad was very protective of me. We were great friends. There were the usual family debates as in every household and lots of laughter. He stayed at home to look after me while Mum went to work, I have so many wonderful memories of walking to and from primary school with him everyday. My world as a teenager, with nothing to worry about but friends, school and going out changed in an instant. That was it. One day Dad was there, the next he was gone.

Mum and I didn’t have anyone to help us navigate the police investigation. There were no charges brought against the driver and there was no closure. I remember standing silently with tears rolling down my face before I started my A-level exams, classmates not understanding, not knowing what to do.

Years later, I was living and working in London when I contacted RoadPeace. I wanted to try and face what had happened to my Dad and perhaps try to help others after a long time of hiding from it all – feeling guilty that it was all somehow my fault. 

After moving back to Liverpool with my family, I unexpectedly received a call from the North West coordinator Pauline  Fielding, who was going through her contact list and I ended up going to a local group meeting at Merseyside Police HQ.

It was incredible for me to see things from another perspective, listening to victims, the police, representatives of the road safety partnership, lawyers and others together in one room, discussing how to change things for the better.