Shirley Caswell

On 22/9/98, around 11pm, my beautiful daughter Melanie was a passenger in a 4 ton army truck, whose driver fell asleep whilst travelling on the M4 between junctions 12 and 13. They had been on a country exercise all weekend and had at the time of driving been without food or sleep for over 40hrs. The vehicle was towing a huge missile launcher. The driver was on the inside lane and veered right over and hit the central reservation. On harshly correcting the steering wheel it jack-knifed and my daughter was thrown out of the side window directly onto the motorway bridge and was bounced back to land back up over the wheel arch of the truck. Because of the location of the crash it took a long time for the emergency services to reach her. She was worked on at the roadside and then taken to hospital where she was pronounced dead in the early hours of the morning.

A military enquiry took place a year after her death which I was not privy to. The Police or CPS would not prosecute even though the inquest clearly determined the driver fell a sleep at the wheel.

The horror of identifying your beautiful daughter’s perfectly fit healthy body, laying now crushed and dirty on a morgue slab is indescribable. A terrible pain in my stomach stayed with me for months after  and I continually relived an impact I had not been witness too. I kept looking at my front door expecting her to walk through. She was like a mum to her younger two brothers as there was a 13 year gap between them. It breaks my heart thinking of the times they should still be sharing and discovering each other’s personalities.

I have great difficulty answering the simple question “ how many children have you got” or signing greetings cards. I simply cannot, not include her. I am very grateful for the beautiful years we had together and constantly remember the beautiful memories she left. Her death has affected the lives of my family and our friends forever.

Constantly I wonder what she would be doing and achieving in her life at her age now. Married? Babies? Grandchildren I will never see.

I am extremely paranoid over the safety of my two healthy sons and restrict what should be a truly discovering time for them. I can’t risk someone else knocking at my door and saying “sorry” because that is all it is. No explanation, no punishment, a beautiful life is wiped out in an instant and no one has to answer for it.

The military use public roads but do not have to abide by the rules other drivers do. Melanie’s death was an embarrassment to the army and was swept under the carpet.

I feel guilty that my daughter has been killed without any form of justice being taken. I feel I have let her down as any protective parent would.

A mother cannot put into words the joy of giving birth and having that wonderful little bundle place in her arms. It is so opposite in feeling but again totally unable to put into words the pain and heartbreak of a child’s death. 

My pain and sadness is with me every single day. I am lost without her.